Empatheias app

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⌈ PLAYER SECTION ⌉
Player: Alex
Contact: majinken
Age: 28
Current Characters: Alice Margatroid, Saber


⌈ CHARACTER SECTION ⌉
Character: Sayaka Miki
Age: 14
Canon: Puella Magi Madoka Magicka
Canon Point: After Oktavia's death, in episode 9.

Background: Sayaka's page. Series in general.

Compared to like, every other main character, Sayaka actually doesn't have much backstory. Even if said backstory is other timelines. Madoka and Homura have previous timelines for theirs, Kyoko and Mami have their own actual past, and who cares about Kyubey.

All that's really known for Sayaka is that she knew Madoka since they were kids (she was also, perhaps, a bit of a tomboy), she liked violin boy and has been seeing him in the hospital for some time, and... that's really it. No details of her past or family are known, everyone else get's that. Even the "mascot character" technically get's more info on their "family".

Personality: A walking, talking train wreck in motion.

She gives the impression of a young, spirited tomboy. She’s one of those friends that likes to tease those close to her, all for the sake of a laugh. She would never be mean while doing so, however. While her actual circle of friends is small, being composed of two other girls and a single hospitalized boy, she’s fine with that. Not that she has anything against getting to know other people. Honestly her friends mean a lot to her, with Sayaka going out of her way to do almost anything for them, and even just being around them makes her feel better about everything. That's not to say she isn't fine around others. It's not like she sees everyone else as outsiders threatening her and those close to her. Of course, there is nothing to stop her from viewing her own friends as threats either.

She's the one who tries to have a smile on her face; if not for herself, for others. She doesn't exactly think things through all that much, nor will she ever claim to, relying more so on impulse and her... rather black and white ideals to guide her in times of need. Is there a friend in need? Sayaka will be one of the first to throw herself into the way to help out. And suffer for it.

She holds heroism, and thus heroes, to an idealistic level. The self-sacrificing people motivate her in various ways. To be a better person, to work harder to achieve your goals... excluding school work, she knows her limits on that one. She wants to live up to those standards, even if it means pushing herself harder than she really should. As long as the result is good, a little pain won't be too bad, right? This feeling only got reinforced in her the day she met Mami, the girl who was an example for her to follow, becoming a large part of her motivation. Mami, since the moment she was introduced, became a massive influence on her life, her world view, her actions and just basically, she's easily one of the most important people Sayaka met. Sayaka has a hero worship problem going for her in this regard, believing the older girl to be a perfect, heroic angel that could not possible to any wrong. Of course, Sayaka is never going to live up to her ideals, for they are impossible to reach.

Building on her view of black and white, she has difficulty seeing things in between. Even as the series progresses, she has trouble coming to terms with the fact that things are not as clear as she initially assumes them to be. Her strict devotion to holding herself to these views leads to her in increasingly bad situations. Not that they could have been helped, of course. Despite that things may not be as they seem at times, her constant desire to be a "hero of justice" as it were does go face to face with some rather horrible things. When she eventually managed to form a contract, she could only see it as a chance to live up to Mami’s example--a hero, someone who saves the lives of those in need. This, however, lead to her having quite the poor opinion of other magical girls, what with the general idea of everything being a "competition" to some of them. But Mami wasn't like that, she was a good... no a great person, who fought the evil witches not out of greed, but from pure desires only! In a way, it was wish fulfillment (not counting the actual wish she made being fulfilled), as now she could finally be something she always wanted to be. The shining light of hope in the darkness, like Mami was to her. Of course, most heroes also don't think they should have left one of their oldest friends to die...

Sayaka would never claim to be a genius, nor really be the smartest person around. As said, she knows her school life isn't on the overly academic side; her brash and impulsive decisions go in the direct opposite of good reason and she doesn't always think things through. But she also has far more going for her than she will ever admit to having due to her crippling nonexistent self-esteem. If she takes even a second to cool down and think, she is amazingly perceptive and insightful. While still not exactly book smart, this does require her to draw back the curtains she has shoved in front of her eyes. Able to pinpoint motives and reasoning from others, even if she cannot conform to them, she can at least recognize them. However, this would never work for herself. Nor those she blindingly sees in one way.

Of course, she's not an all loving hero or anything. Far from it. Sayaka holds grudges. She holds massive distrust for people she believes have wronged her and those around her; the disdain she holds for such people is immense. A constant swirl of anger and hatred ring in her mind, and only one of the people on her bad side managed to get anywhere close to the good side. But even then, she could not truly treat them well. Sayaka understands what they say and why, but is not able come to terms with certains kinds of thinking. It's kind of a problem.

A kind, friendly, naive, determined, idealistic girl. Who has no confidence in herself; can never measure up to her own impossible standards; scrutinizes herself for the tiniest mistakes; thinks herself a better person than she actually is; thinks herself a worse person than she actually is; who makes constant bad decisions and is made an example of the harsh reality of the world at multiple turns. Sayaka Miki has a very dark side to her coin, one that screams and bleeds as her mental state collapses.

At first, she is seen as what some would call an aspiring heroic character. Striving to do what’s right, helping those around her, not doing things for the sake of herself. Her entire contract is built upon this fact, using her single wish to restore the hand of Kyosuke, who would never use it again. She had wanted him to smile again, to live a happy life without the crushing despair that his favorite activity, violin, was now out of his reach. Now, while a majority of this section has been spent utterly tearing down any positive image Sayaka may have, let it be known. The above is true. She truly does feel that way. But the before mentioned expectations she places on herself, her inability to have a shred of confidence in herself and the mentioned lack of range to see beyond black and white make her believe she is anything but. As time goes on, her failure to live up to the too perfect for life image of heroism crashes down hard onto her, quickly turning any positive thoughts she has about her situation sour. She starts to regret her actions. She ends up snapping in anger to those around her, trapped by circumstance and her own unwillingness to conform. Growing jealousy and hatred for someone she's been friends with for years. Finally... the complete loss of any hope.

She cannot see that she is a person who can have both positive and negative sides to her. As such, she continues to demonize herself; seeing her own bad traits and creating an endless spiral for herself. More than that, she cannot forgive herself for feeling things that no "good" person would feel. For each terrible thing she does or thinks, she immediately realizes what she did, and continues to hate herself for it. She doesn't realize that by simply feeling remorse for such things, she is not as bad as she believes she is. Yet she will continue to feel that way, which in turn with abusing the powers she got from the contract, darkens her Soul Gem.

Which with a name like that, basic English skills are all you need to tell you what it really is. That object, which is now her out of body soul, is essentially the start of all of her problems. It causes her to lose most reasoning when she finds out what her "magical transformation device" really is. That the "cute and adorable mascot" is a lying piece of shit. The sheer rage, betrayal and despair she felt cause her to lose it. In her eyes, she is just a zombie. (She also got the term wrong. She's a Lich, not a zombie.) This leads her to give up, in many ways. Her life, as she saw it, was now over. How could a zombie ever dream of having a normal life? How could she, as she is now, live the starry love filled life she dreams of? Her mind slowly but surely turns darker with each passing moment. From one day feeling like she has no regrets in the world, to wishing death upon those she is close to. She knows that this is really bad, even given her current state. It only serves to push her away from life and her friends. Soon, the only thing she believes is that all she has left to live for is the duty she accepted. Destroy witches. Thus the rampage of Sayaka against witches began, where she throws herself recklessly against the nightmarish creatures time and time again, not caring if she is hurt, not caring if she could do better, it was just done. At this point, only two things matter to her: ending witches and ending it all. In a short amount of time, she has managed to lose all will to live.

She knows she messed up. She knows she did everything wrong. She knows that all the things other people said were true. But she ignored everything to carry out her idiotic crusade of justice. And in the end, she can only reflect on what she has done. For once, a clear understanding of herself as she stands on the door of death. She always knew it, but now knows how deep it all goes. She understands that she truly is an idiot.

And then she made an even bigger mess by doing all of that. Like holy shit she took the wrong way to go about that plan. Sayaka is the foremost example of "what not to do" for everyone else ever. She never even realized her lot in life is infinitely smaller than she pictured it was. In a show about alternate timelines, she has by far the fewest amount of "happy endings"... where happy ending is ranged from horribly depressing to absolute nightmare. She ranks at that last one almost consistently. She is unaware that she is almost destined to make bad choices. She is a girl who cannot be left to her own devices, lest she makes everything worse.

Abilities: As a magical girl, she is capable of a few things... that are rather limited because she's bad at it all. She can transform, heal injuries (her own... she doesn't know she can heal others...), create and use swords and stop herself from feeling pain from injuries. Some are part of the standard kit one get's from a contract, others unique to her, namely the swords and healing, which she got because her wish was one of healing. As well, performing feats of physical prowess outside of what a young girl should ever be capable of doing, and there seems to be at least some generic magical abilities she has been shown to perform. Also has a cape that can change length and size on a whim. Apparently.

Despite her magical abilities, there really is not much she can do that deserves going in depth about, as most of what she can do is simple. Every other magical girl shown has more of a grasp on what they can do and are far more in depth about it. Another way of showing just how much... less she is, compared to the others.

Well, outside of anything related to Oktavia, but that's not really the point of this...

Alignment: Elios. She loves and hates a lot, strongly and with a lot of force. It's kind of her thing and defining character trait. Besides abject failure.

Other: Don't touch the shiny blue gem, and any Mami fanaticism is mostly from how Sayaka views her. It wouldn't be right to saying bad things about the amazing Mami in this app.


⌈ SAMPLE SECTION ⌉
Sample: In the near future, there's a festival. One for flowers. Sayaka, of course only hearing about the name and not anything about what it involves, decides to go and check it out. Flowers are nice, right? Maybe they could take her mind off of things that keep sneaking into her mind.

At first, it looks like flowers is really the entire point to it all. She isn't someone that has a heavy interest in flowers, but seeing all the kinds around, in such weird and odd places at that, did actually manage to focus her attention on it. She could easily see why it’s called the Flower Festival, although she came here expecting a competition of sorts. See who can grow the finest flower, something like that. All signs point to it being traditional flower viewing. Only without the sakura pink trees. Also it actually being flowers. She still couldn’t get her head around that one, even now. Trees aren't flowers.

But she can't help but notice what is going on around her, or rather what is going on everywhere here. She has been focusing on the flowers for a time, but eventually she couldn't help but notice that most of everyone here... is in a pair. A lovey dovey pair, to some degree. Sure, she has problems in this regard. Maybe she feels a bit bitter. But it makes sense for young couples to come out for this. But there is no end in sight. Now that she is looking for it, she just finds more and more people together.

What’s going on here? Why are they all out and about here? Sure, it's a kind of thing you would go out for but... this is too much! Sayaka bites into her lower lip, the bitterness in her mind growing more as time passes. Are they doing it on purpose? Are all these people mocking her?... No, no of course not. That's stupid even for her. But it still hurts. She still feels the lingering pain over the whole ordeal. Seeing everyone happy and enjoying themselves, unaware of how lucky they are to be with one another, blissfully unaware that, just maybe, they may end up ruining someone’s life.

Her lip bleeds as she bites down harder, if only for a second. She's being unreasonable, she knows it. But she cannot stop it. She hates this, she feels horrible. Why? Why does everyone else get to be happy? Do they deserve to be happy?

"Do... I deserve to be happy?"

The last thought happens to be strong enough that it sends out, although given her current mental state and general awareness, it’s not the kind of thing she would realize. But she does not think that she deserves it. She is a horrible person, after all. Everywhere she looks now is just a grim reminder of her own failures, mistakes and general inabilities. Feeling bitter towards those who are happy together, she just hates herself more, both in general and for getting worked up over this. She shakes, for a single moment. She's not crying, it’s just an involuntary twitch. As her mind races towards darker places, so to does her body, in that dark clouds begin to swarm her. Unaware of what is going on, being in her own world, all she feels is slightly chilly as the clouds form around her.

Only when someone points this out and tells her that she is ruining the mood that she snaps out of it. She quickly notices what’s going on and stammers out a reply. "I... I'm sorry!" and then she feels like her only option is to run away. She shouldn’t be here. Both for the reasons apparent and because it is obvious she is only ruining things around here. Staying around would only make everything worse for everyone. She does not want that... or if she did, she didn't want to admit it. Yes, she is frustrated by everything, but that didn't mean she has to take it out on people who don’t know better, right? So, she turns around and runs.

Far enough away now, or that’s what she thinks. Hardly matters anyway, she does not feel like running anymore; kneeling up against a wall now that she stopped by. As the noise that erupts from the festival is now out of earshot, Sayaka takes a moment to think, on her past mostly.

Would she have been better off if things went differently for her? Would she have ended up as bitter about this, if her romantic life hadn’t taken such drastic turns? Or would she have actually managed to enjoy herself, despite everything else that had happened?

She doesn't know. She just feels sad and angry, mostly at herself, but she can't say why. Only that right now, she wants to be alone. The frustration that rises in Sayaka is causing cracks in the ground to form, growing further away until they reach a certain distance away from her. At least this makes it easy for her to be left alone now.

"I wonder. Just how does it feel to be loved?"

She came to this festival today to try and put her mind at ease from having these dark thoughts that keeping coming. Instead, they just come back stronger than ever now. Is she missing out on this? Is she expecting too much? Is she even someone that people like in the first place? She cannot think of an answer to those question and she can't stop herself from lingering on yet more questions. All she can do is try and move on, whether for good or for the mean time, but who knows how long that can take.

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Also, if an old TDM is allowed, here's Sayaka as something that's not an angst machine, although with not much of an emotional response from the world around.

Additionally, a meme thread with her bestest friend, Madoka.

Questions: I do hope it's okay that, despite the fact her last "living" moments were being a giant nightmarish mermaid monstrosity, she shows up as she was, being magical girl blue? Because otherwise things wouldn't be too... great to play.